Gluttony

It’s currently 10pm right now and even though I already had dinner (chicken stir fry, a banana, and ice cream), I’m craving a second supper so bad. It may just be me stress eating but I’ve constantly been hungry ALLLL the time. Even minutes after I finish my lunch, I have the need to munch on something else. There are many concerns that keep arising from this; one being that my parents’ money is going down the drain since I spend so much on food (and I don’t have a job so I don’t have money of my own to waste). The second is that I can feel myself getting heavy – not necessarily in the sense of gaining weight (which I guess should also be added to the list) but more so in that my limbs feel like lead and anything I do is approached in a veeeeery slow manner. I don’t work out or think about optimal meal times or even acknowledge the junk that I’m putting into my body. All i know is that if I’m craving strawberry ice cream garnished with a soft chocolate chip cookie, there’s nothing stopping me from doing so.

Now let’s get this straight. There’s really nothing wrong with (mindfully) eating, especially when you’re paying over 5k for a meal plan. But the biggest issue here is that I don’t exercise or do anything to bring my body back to shape, back to a state of activeness.

Gluttony!

That’s what it is. It’s probably the funnest deadly sin to pronounce and one of the easiest ones to disregard as a deadly sin. By definition, gluttony is habitual greed or excess in eating. In regards to a broader spectrum, I realize now that all I do is take and take and take without paying back what I should. Indulgence is so tempting and once you’re comfortably engulfed in its grip, it takes quite a lot of strength and effort to escape.

I guess that’s why I feel so guilty when I don’t encounter struggle every now and then. It means I’m indulging in my own comfort and not doing enough work that will pay off in the future. There has been way too many nights when I call it a day straight after coming home from classes (which could be reasonable if school is ~8 hours but I typically only have class for ~5 hours each day). I don’t touch my homework or do anything productive because I just want to lay in my bed watching Youtube videos for the rest of the night.

(I know that may not sound fun for some people, but it’s definitely my guilty pleasure. If you’re more of an extrovert, imagine going out every night – or I don’t know – just image doing something you find really fun.)

The whole point is that I don’t anticipate having to return the hours I just wasted, so naturally, the result is that I’m scrambling to study or complete an assignment last-minute. That’s the consequence of gluttony – a sluggish, unhealthy mind and body. To be honest, I think most people are aware of it, but since it’s so easy to push these kinds of thoughts out of the way, we fall into the same destructive routine every day.

Or, at least, that’s my theory.

Who knows – maybe I’m the only one like this LOL.

You’d think I’d learn from my mistakes by now, but I’ve been making this mistake since junior year of high school and I still don’t have the self control to resist an unhealthy decision all for the sake of short-term gratitude.

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